Always Looking Back
by Mist.Filled.Eyes
Summary: Sasuke Uchiha's life has aways been an emotional roller-coaster but sometimes it's good to sit back and remember everything that made you cry, made you laugh and made you smile.


**A/N: **Alright so this is sort of different from all my other stories. I always had this secret interest in guys in uniform - this is probably because nearly every guy my mother was _ever _with was either a cop or a medic. Genetics perhaps? - and this oneshot is a spin-off of my own day-dreams. That is not to say that none of my other stories weren't day-dreams before they were down on the screen. I find that some of my best work is either under intense anger or amazing amounts of pressure, but all of them began as day-dreams ended as you read them.

Other than that, I only really have to say that yes I know I have a lot of fun kicking the crap out of Sasuke and Gaara, but it's - dare I say it - incredibly endearing to get to write out what I think the other's thoughts would be like if the other was injured. It's fun and exciting and heart-wrenching but I love it. Although this is mostly focused on Sasuke, with a cup of Gaara, a dash of grief and a teaspoon of love thrown in. ( Yea I know, I'm on a baking spree don't ask about my food references. ) Don't worry, neither of our favorite guys is getting hurt _too_ badly in this little tale, but I think it'd be a evil and twisty ending.

Without further ado,

* * *

The first time Sasuke Uchiha ever called 911 was the first time he ever met Gaara Sabaku. The politician had been on his way to the top, probably going to run the country but suddenly in the middle of a live and public interview one of the men assigned to guard him was shot in the line of duty in an attempt to kill him.

The look of agony on his expression had killed. The red head had jumped off the stage and ran to the officer's side. Nearly 30 cameras had watched as the man begged and pleaded for the officer to wake up, to move to do anything. The whole nation had seen the tears. Sasuke was probably one of many who cried along with him. Although he supposed it was a bit more heart-breaking for him because of the fact that he used to know the man.

It was worse in wsome ways and better in others. Worse because he only saw the death 2 weeks and 4 days after the actual shooting. Better because he never had to see the red head's face afterwards. The video he saw only caught a glimpse of Gaara as he was rushed out the area by his remaining guards. His face would forever remain scarred in many people's memories.

The officer who died was named Yukito Ryuuga. That officer had been the only person who tried to help the last living Uchiha when he called for it. They had met when one of Sasuke's neighbours called 911 because they heard crying through the walls. Yukito had shown up at the door with his partner and Sasuke had been the one to answer.

'Hello officers is there a problem?' He remembered saying. He could hear sarcastic laughing in the background and had flinched on instinct. Yukito had been the one to have him step in the hall and close the door. Tears were still falling off his cheeks and the bruises on his pretty face were beginning to show.

'Kid, if you need some help now is the time to ask.' Yukito had told him softly. That had been when Sasuke's possessive, half-crazed lover had screamed from inside the apartment.

'Sasuke you get your ass in here **now**!' Sasuke had hesitated long enough for Yukito to push a card into his jeans pocket then he ran in. Yukito had gotten a call almost every night if only to talk. The two became very close friends and maintained the contact even while he was on guard duty for the politician. Hell Sasuke had talked to the red head once when he came to talk to Yukito and found him on the phone. Yukito had asked if he wanted to say hi to Gaara and he said sure.

'Hello this Gaara Sabaku.' Sasuke remembered the deep baritone voice had being intensely serious yet amazingly playful at the same time. The two had talked for about 5 minutes before Gaara gave the phone up saying he had business that needed his attention, 'even if it is a bunch of mindless twits freaking out over which way my hair is parted.' Gaara had grumbled with a joking smile..

'He's a good man.' Yukito's voice was in his head.

Yukito had been his reason to hold on even through the beatings his lover doled out for so much as glancing up from the pavement whenever they were outside. When he died and Sasuke had cried for him, his lover Tamoya had beat him so badly that Sasuke used his cell phone ( on it's last month since Yukito had been the one paying the bill ) and called 911.

Apparently after the failed assassination Gaara had quit the life of politics saying he needed some time but that he promised to be back and be better then ever. In the meantime, he was accepted into the ranks of police officers the day he applied.

Sasuke had called in tears and terror in his voice and the dispatcher had assigned the case to the only officers in the area. The brother team; Kankuro and Gaara Sabaku.

The duo showed up at the door and Gaara asked to speak to whoever called 911. Tamoya told him that he didn't do anything of the sort and that no one else was in the apartment. Sasuke had ran from the room Tamoya had thrown him in and clung to the red headed officers bullet-proof vest.

'Please! Please don't make me go back!' He remembered the almost desperate tone he had used. Gaara had taken one look then wrapped an arm around the teen and started walking away. Kankuro had to hold back Tamoya. Unfortunately Sasuke had been 17 at the time and was therefore a minor. Tamoya was his legal guardian and he wanted his punching bag back.

In the courts Sasuke had sat shaking his seat as the court deemed that Sasuke had no visible marks and that Sasuke would have to go back. Sasuke had screamed, had fought figuring that prison would be better that the hell he lived in and ultimately Gaara had gotten up from his position in the crowd and stepped up to hold Sasuke in place.

'I want to challenge Tamoya Hiro for guardianship of Sasuke Uchiha."

That had started the hard battle in court for Sasuke. Gaara had the standing and immediate respect to be the ideal choice, but Tamoya's lawyers were arguing that Gaara had no legal grounds to challenge guardianship. It was only in private that Gaara had winked at him and said,'no worries. You won't go back to him. I'm going to draw this out for months. You turn 18 on the 26th of July don't you? Well now it's June 13th. I think I can draw out our little custody battle long enough for you to turn of age ne?'

Sasuke had literally broke out sobbing in joy. The man was a genius. Behind closed doors Gaara had taken his time to get to know the boy he was battling for and after a while figured out that this was the Sasuke Yukito had been playing father with.

'By God! You were the boy on the phone!' He had exclaimed. Then sadness washed over his handsome features. He had knelt in front of Sasuke's chair and brought Sasuke's forehead down to his. Sasuke had frozen up the second his voice raised above it's norm then he relaxed when very softly Gaara asked,'Do you want to go to his grave? Offer up a prayer? I'm sure Tamoya didn't let you?'

'He beat me until I was finally afraid enough to call you, all because I was crying over Yukito's death. I saw you on TV trying to wake him up.' He had replied softly, agony of a different kind then physical filling his voice. Gaara had brought him down into waiting arms and for fifteen minutes he said nothing until Sasuke regained control. Then he asked if Sasuke wanted to go to the cemetery again. Sasuke had nodded happily and Gaara took him down to the modest cemetery. Yukito had always been a modest kind of guy so Sasuke thought it was pretty fitting.

It was sitting and talking with Yukito about what Gaara was doing for him that he realized he was falling in love with the quick-witted red head.

'Sasuke? Are you alright?' Gaara had asked, he was standing about 3 meters away paying his respects to a fallen officer who'd asked to be buried beside his girlfriend. Apparently the family hadn't been able to pay so Gaara did it. Yukito had mentioned it absently and Gaara had told him to give the family his cell number, that he would cover funeral expenses.

Yukito had called Gaara a good man, Sasuke never really realized just how good until he truly began to get to know him.

'Yea, I'm fine.' He had replied before turning to Yukito's headstone and quietly asking,'Am I wrong to be in love with him? I know you admired him. Am I a fool for falling for him?'

Sasuke finished, offered another prayer then walked over to Gaara. Apparently he had walked quite quietly because when he touched Gaara's arm softly the ex-politician jumped back with a frightened yelp.

Sasuke had gasped, ducking and sliding behind a gravestone to hide - he refused to call it cowering. Usually when he scared someone the blows came raining down not seconds later. Usually he could barely move afterwards.

'Sasuke, Sasuke it's okay it's okay. I'm not going to do anything.' Gaara had bent over and gathered the frightened teenager into his arms. Gaara had seen quite a few domestic violence cases and knew that the fearful, and automatic assumption that everyone was going to hurt them was practically second-nature to them. In his opinion, the reason most people got frustrated with a victim of domestic violence was because they couldn't understand that the violence had become their natural environment.

On July 25th, the courts ruled in Gaara's favor. Both he and Sasuke had laughed so hard they cried. Sasuke had dove over the bench separating the competing parties from the audience and wrapped his arms around Gaara's neck. He didn't really see much because there was this repetitive and blinding light. Later he learned that several big newspapers and many news stations had been covering the trail because Gaara's name was attached.

And apparently no one had ever seen Gaara smile as brightly as he had when that judge had said that Sasuke was his ward. The paper's front page the next day was of Sasuke mid-launch with his arms around Gaara's neck with the headline reading,"_Courts rule in ex-poltician's favor!_"

'Fucking vultures.' Gaara had grumbled in annoyance. Sasuke had simply laughed and buried his face in Gaara's throat. Gaara took him back to his apartment and gave him the tour, laughing at some points, warning him away from the box under the coffee table. Gaara said it was memoirs from his before-cop days and that he didn't even look at it because it hurt to much.

One night, while Gaara was asleep, Sasuke looked in the box. Gaara had never told him not to, he merely said that he didn't think Sasuke would want to see. Sasuke balked however when sitting on top of the pile was a picture of Yukito kissing Gaara affectionately. Sasuke had grabbed the picture and ran into the sleeping off-duty officer's bedroom.

He shook the man awake and let Gaara regain his senses before putting the picture on the bed and exclaiming,'You were dating him! How could you not tell me? Is this the reason you helped me? Because you felt guilty over him!'

Gaara stayed quiet and stared at the picture. Sasuke realized he'd done damage when Gaara's hand shook as it reached to put the picture face down. He'd leaned back into the headboard and motioned Sasuke to join him. Sasuke had albeit grudgingly joined him on the bed and let the red head pull him into his lap. Gaara put their foreheads together and let his arms rest comfortably around Sasuke's waist.

'Honestly, I had no idea who you were other than the kid on the 911 call. I just figured I could help. When I found out that you were the kid that Yukito had practically adopted? I was torn between running the other way to avoid to rush of memories your pretty face would hold then and pushing myself harder because of him.'

Sasuke had moved without thinking and had tangled his hands in Gaara's tee shirt. Gaara had fallen asleep while the two of them were reading together and Sasuke had left to go see the box. Now he regretted it. Because now he felt like a royal asshole for making such horrible assumptions about the older male.

'I was going to run. Believe me I was going to drop the case and run, but then I saw you during one of Tamoya's visits and when you started crying because he was touching your cheek I wanted to kill the prick. First time I ever felt a murderous impulse I promise. That was around the time that I realized I couldn't abandon you, even if it meant hurting myself in the process. I couldn't leave the boy I had fallen so desperately in love with, in the hands of a madman. However I was 21, you were 17. You were jail bait to me, even if by law it was fine. I wasn't about to act on it, hell I wasn't even going to tell you I was gay so you wouldn't be freaked out.'

Sasuke had chuckled softly, then nestled into his favorite sleeping spot. With his head tucked under Gaara's chin and the ex-politician's arms around him. Gaara finished with a sigh,'But I'm bombarding you now, so sleep. Sleep and tomorrow you can ask all the questions I know will be buzzing in your onyx skull.'

The next day when they both woke up standing in the doorway was Tamoya. Tamoya had always been an avid katana collector so Sasuke was not surprised to see one in his hand. Both Gaara and Sasuke were more then surprised when Tamoya rammed it into Gaara's stomach - luck had it that it missed his spine coming in at an angle and merely pinning him down on the bed.

'Get out of my house.' Sasuke could remember the venom in Gaara's usually lyrical voice. He could also remember the horrible taste in his mouth when Tamoya kissed him. Literally lifting him off the bed and forcing his tongue into his mouth. Sasuke had screamed, fought and sobbed but Tamoya simply laughed.

Sasuke remembered how badly he'd shook when he told Tamoya that he couldn't do this anymore. That he'd leave him alone or Sasuke would call the cops and have him put in jail. Tamoya had laughed and dropped Sasuke on the threat that if he moved the sword would move from Gaara's stomach to his heart. Then he un-did his belt.

Sasuke remembered the prayer he'd thought at that moment,'Please, if anyone is listening, let him kill me first, don't let my last memory be of this and Gaara being stabbed. Please.'

Sasuke forced himself to close his eyes as Tomoya reached for him. _Close your eyes and imagine your lying in bed with Gaara. Lying under the covers against his side as Gaara reading aloud from a good book as you fall asleep to his voice. _Shivers danced up his spine as Tamoya began pushing his shirt up slowly.

Then something happened. Gaara tugged the sword out of himself with a cry of pain then jumped and drove it into Tamoya's throat. Moving faster then Sasuke had ever seen him the red head had jerked open his bed side drawer and pulled out a gun leveling it at Tamoya's head. Then he turned to face Sasuke.

'Baby, get my cell phone from my desk and hide in the bathroom. Lock yourself in and hit talk twice. A woman named Temari will pick up tell her what happened and that I need medics here on a rush and cops and her.'

Sasuke had nodded and ran doing exactly what he was told, only this time willingly. Sitting in the shower he called and talked to Temari she said not to say anything to anyone but her or Gaara. He passed the message on to Gaara when he opened the door. Gaara had barked that he get back in and Sasuke jolted back hard enough to slam the door.

While he waited he thought. Sasuke had never reacted like that to Tamoya, it wasn't fear for himself but horror at the idea of Gaara having to watch anything that happened to him. He realized he was jumpy and shaking when a cruel voice yelled,'Open the door!'

Sasuke had shuddered and pushed himself against the wall trying to disappear into it. Then a voice, angry and demanding told him to open the door or they'd break it down.

Then relief. Gaara's voice.

'Don't threaten him he's just scared, you're a cop you should know this. Sasuke, it's me. Open the door and come out.' Sasuke had opened it hesitantly then spotted red hair and ran towards it, easily dodging cops and medics who tried to grab him. He'd been checked by Gaara's hand on his chest as his voice, deeper now even slower then his usual drawl, told him that he'd been hurt and that Sasuke would be staying with Gaara's elder sister and lawyer.

'Sasuke. Tamoya's dead.' He'd sighed and raised an eyebrow. Sasuke had broken down sobbing with relief then hugged the ex-politician around the neck murmuring his thanks over and over.

He'd lived with Temari for three days before Gaara was released from hospital and immediately all the red head wanted was to see Sasuke and get some sleep. Apparently the cops had been trying to grill him like mad, they wanted his testimony on killing Tamoya and hoped he would incriminate himself. Gaara had refused morphine for the sole reason that he couldn't let himself be loopy or the cops would play on it.

On the second day of Gaara not only refusing the morphine but refusing to be knocked out so they could stitch up his stomach the doctors were furious. They ordered the police out of their hospital and told them that if they harassed their patient again, Gaara was under orders to not only demand a lawyer but call the nurses. The nurse who would be bringing hospital security with her.

'Gaara!" He'd brightened up immediately on sight of the red head. That was the first time he ever kissed his guardian. Well guardian turned roommate after Sasuke's 18th birthday. He'd literally jumped up and kissed him. Both had paused for a second than Gaara asked quietly.

'Sasuke, are you sure?' Sasuke had nodded and kissed him again. Only this time he got a response, Gaara pressed back. That had been the start of his and Gaara - shaky - relationship. Every once in a while Gaara would have to sit him and down and remind him that if Sasuke didn't want to do something, or go somewhere that Gaara wouldn't react badly. Badly of course translating roughly to kick the crap out of him.

"Hey Sasuke, I wanted you to meet someone, he's a friend of mine. Name's Naruto Uzumaki and be warned he's mental."

But that was all years ago. Sasuke was turning 27 today and Gaara had turned 31 six months ago.

Sasuke was staring at the second box under the table now, the box from Gaara's life as a cop. His case files, or one in particular and on the top of the pile this time was two pictures. One of Sasuke at Yukito's grave as a teen - apparently Gaara had to threaten the reporter who took it to give it up saying that Gaara could either be given it and pay or take it and break him - and one of Gaara and Sasuke sleeping together taken by Temari while they lived together during the time it took to fix the door Tamoya broke.

Sasuke had learned later in life that Tamoya had asked a court clerk what Gaara's apartment address was. The guy lost his job the next day and Gaara never quite said why, all Sasuke knew was that Gaara had a meeting then the man got fired. Gaara got a phone call the next day and Sasuke had puzzled to hear a man's voice apologizing for his recklessness and that he would never allow such a breech in security to happen again.

Gaara had gone back to politics when he turned 23 and was running the country a year later. Now Sasuke was living in a very different place then the apartment that he'd once called safe. The house was new, Gaara had said that he didn't want to move but that unfortunately politics were harder then just living like normal.

When Gaara walked in, suit tie loosened slightly and saw the box on the table, he'd smiled sadly and told Naruto to go grab the three of them a beer from the kitchen. Naruto had laughed but gone. Gaara walked over and sat behind Sasuke on the couch, tugging the onyx-haired man to sit with his knees over Gaara's leg.

"Hey baby, reminicsing?" Gaara smiled and Sasuke nodded. He reached over and picked up the picture of them sleeping.

"Still the comfiest position to sleep in." He joked and Gaara nodded. The red head leaned and kissed him softly then put their foreheads together.

"You know I love you right?"

Sasuke smiled and nodded as he shifted to straddle the ex-cop's hips. "Of course I do, and you know I love you. Even Temari the cynical nut can see that. By the way, I'm glad that Tamoya hurt me so bad."

Gaara's azure eyes widened marginally. "Why on earth would you ever-"

Sasuke pressed one finger to his lips. "I'm glad," he continued,"because if he hadn't done everything he did. Hurt me the ways he did, I'd never truly know what it feels like to have someone mean it when they say they love me. Never know the feeling of a gentle kiss and never allow enough trust in anyone to know how good it feels to sleep in an amazing person's arms."

"Wow...Kodac moment!" A voice from the door cried happily.

"Uzumaki! I'm gonna kill you!" Gaara put Sasuke on the couch and promptly attacked the blond.

Sasuke just laughed and smiled. It was good to have friends, better to have a lover like Gaara. Absently he twirled the gorgeous silver band Gaara had used to propose to him this morning


End file.
